12"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13"Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
I always look forward to having the HS and MS people in class for the summer. In fact, I can't wait to get them in there. I want to show off our adult class. I'm so impressed and amazed at our discussions over the Word, that I can't wait for them to be part of it. I want them to clearly see how relevant the Word of God is for their lives today. I want them to hear us intelligently talk through a passage. Sometimes we struggle and sometimes it comes easy- I want these young people to see how we as adults do it. This isn't a Bible story. Or a Bible lesson. It's the real deal. No dis against their previous Sunday School classes- the difference is the maturity of the conversations. And oh boy, was it mature yesterday.
I've been debating this for several weeks. What am I going to do when these guys show up? Half of me says to just carry on in I Corinthians and let the chips fall as they may. And the other half says to do something relevant- something edgy- something to catch their attention- something that they may struggle with- something that they can REALLY APPLY RIGHT NOW.
I think we got both covered pretty well.
Right up until class started, the debate was going on in my mind, especially as I saw them heading out the back door for their classes. I thought of the verses we'd be covering and sort of gave out a sigh and thought "Carry on today. Maybe finish up I Cor 6 and stop for the summer. Maybe I'll figure out something else to take up."
Then they came marching back in.
Here we go.
I definitely had one of those out-of-body experiences. You've all had them. They come during times of stress. After I read the passage (actually to the end of the chapter) and launched into my opening monologue, it was like I was watching myself from above talk about this awkward subject. As I was talking, I was simultaneously (from above, up near the chandelier where all the horrid ultra bright light bulbs are the give me a headache during church) making comments to myself about what I was saying...
- Am I going too far?
- Be clear. Absolutely crystal.
- Don't shy away and avoid this- meet it head on.
- They've heard the world's version in Health class and probably seen pictures, demonstrations, and pretty much everything.
- I hope no parents are getting upset. Have they all had "the talk" yet???
- Who do I think I am talking about this?
- This may be THE chance, the ONE chance I have in this church to lay this all out- don't blow it.
- Don't laugh. This is serious. Even though I want to laugh during tension filled moments like this. No jokes, anecdotes or limericks!
- Run away. Fast and far.
- Be clear.
- Make eye contact. That's it...hold it. But not too much...
- Crystal clear.
Pretty soon, I returned to my body, away from those bright light bulbs. I was overwhelmed with this one idea- make it clear. Don't beat around the bush. Don't sugar coat it. Now is not the time for timidity.
So that's what I tried to do.
Just to summarize, here's what I think I emphasized:
- We are taught by the world (TV, Internet, School, etc) that we can do what we want- we have complete freedom. However, not everything we do is beneficial. Particularly when it comes to sex.
- Some people say that sex is like eating- it's a strong bodily urge and all we're doing is satisfying that natural urge. However, sex outside of marriage is wrong in God's eyes.
- The body is not meant for sexual immorality- in particular fornication/adultery and pornography.
- When we are sexually immoral, we sin against the Lord Jesus since our bodies are members of Christ Himself.
I plan to carry on with this topic, using the verses in I Corinthians. Next week we'll get into the spiritual side of sexual sin. After that, as we move into chapter 7, I'll attempt to reinforce the positive side of sex within a marriage. That it's God's gift, that it's healthy, pleasurable, and appropriate behavior for married couples. So what's coming are these verses:
4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.
Have you ever thought of those verses? How would you like to teach them to a room full of people including MS and HS? Uh huh. Time for an out of body experience!
Let me know what you think about this...
Eric
4 comments:
I can't believe we're talking about sex in church! I'm lovin' it! My kids (17 & 14) are all ears. So much so that while we were away on vacation we had a little bible study in the car. I don't want my kids to miss the boat on this topic. They need to know the scriptural basis for sex. We read through the next section dealing with sex in marriage. We chatted for an hour! My 14 yr old said it didn't feel like it was that long.
My prayer is that the parents of my boy's future wives are having the same sort of conversations with their daughters. The time to shape our children's views on sex is before they are adults. Lord knows, the world is taking every opportunity to bathe them in it's philosophy!
One thing we haven't discussed yet is where to draw the boundary line before marriage. We all agree that scripture teaches us to save our bodies for marriage. But how much to do we save?
A wise woman once told me, "the time to decide how far you will go is NOT when you're in the back seat at the drive-in."
But where do you draw a boundary line? This is a question I remember struggling with, along with other teenage friends.
Lisa Bevere, in her book, Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry, gives a blunt answer: don't do anything that you wouldn't do in front of your dad.
I like her idea because it draws the line between affection and sensuality. You might hold hands in front of your parents. You might even give your girlfriend a good-night peck. But there is kissing, and then there is kissing.
Her logic is that if Jesus warned that lust was on equal grounds with adultery, and we're not to cause our brother (or sister) to stumble, then draw the boundary line at the point where lovely, sweet affection becomes lust. It's the best answer I've ever heard.
good work!
One of my favorite Cross Movement songs (from the Human Emergency album) is called Creature Double Feature.
lyrics are here
at the end, John "The Tonic" Wells quotes I Corinthians 10:13.
No temptation has seized you
except what is common to man
And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear
But when you are tempted
he will also provide a way out
so that you can stand up under it
lol i guess we'll come to that in a couple week. I've been in some very tempting situations, and some times i've tried to allow myself the excuse that i am "locked" on committing a certain sensual sin. That verse has helped me remember that, i am the commander of my body, and there is, indeed, a way out that God has provided. (and i have some bonus motivation to stand up under it knowing that it will make a good testimony)
I've felt very strongly that this is a subject we must address and teach about in our Church. I have a lot of brand new Christian friends who just...don't know all this stuff. I have several Christian friends (at least 2) who...are involved in adulterous activities. If they had heard this teaching earlier, i think the case might have been different.
(Should this be something that, perhaps, all our middle school Sunday school classes are required to cover? I know that, apart from my own personal study, i've never seen this passage until now, and I never heard a Sunday school teacher clearly say "Sex before marriage is sin." until now.)
Unfortunately not all my friends will come to Church, but if they don't, at least now i am equipped with a little understanding of the relevant scripture to share.
thanx Mr. Carter!
I'm commenting long after we spoke about this in church, but I wanted to express my gratitude. I'm so grateful that we covered this in church. I have been taught that sex before marriage is sin, that I should save myself for my husband, etc. I've read magazine articles (briomag.com) and my parents have given me books about modesty and such, but it was different to hear real people in my life (not my parents, they don't count for this) testifying about the importance of waiting.
Hearing people I respect talk about the Bible and about sex, was cool. It added an amount of reality and a depth to the topic that I hadn't yet experienced. The wisdom expressed during class was amazing at times...guard yourselves, avoid temptation, and acutally turn and run from temptation because it's hard to resist. Simple statements, yet so profound and honest.
To jrood's question: It would be cool if there was some time devoted to the topic in a middle school or early high school sunday school class. Although one of the things I appreciated most was the comments from the adults...hmm...
Anyway, thank you for having the courage to talk about sex in church. *gasp* :D
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